Thirty five years ago I was seven years old, and the 1970's were approaching. This meant meant I was an unsuspecting subject for my mother's zany sewing experiments. Floral flairs with pompom fringing. Hmmm. Back then I walked the three mile round trip to school each day, ambling along like I had all the time in the world, blatantly picking flowers out of people's front gardens to give to my teacher so she wouldn't mention I was late. I vaguely recall the occassional 'stranger danger' message, but without actual case studies child abduction formed no more a part of parenting conversations back then as did the appropriate age for teenagers to get body piercings.
One of my favourite memories of those early days was visiting my cousins, whose house was in the suburbs but backed onto the beautiful Australian bush. It was in this bushland that the enormous water pipes lay, weaving their way like giant's hoses down to the river. We would climb up the pipes and literally run for what felt like miles, stopping only occasionally when someone was coming the other way at which point we had to sidle past them precariously so as not to fall the ten foot drop to the ground. I marvel now at the freedom we had, particularly considering it was well known that lone adults frequented 'walking the pipes'.
By age ten I regularly used to roam around the local shopping centre on my own, or rode my bike to one of the numerous suburban parks with a friend or without. Our fears were of nothing, other than suffering the repercussions of arriving home late for dinner. We all knew the 'weirdo's' to look out for. The man with mental problems who was notorious for yelling strange things out to kids; the old crazy lady who pushed a shopping trolley laden with plastic bags around the streets, but who mainly mumbled to herself. These were our local 'strangers'.
It's not often I reminisce on those days, but if I do it's when I look at my daughter and fleetingly compare the joy of freedom I had, compared to what I let her do alone today. Currently in her eyes I'm the worse mum in the world because she's not allowed to walk to school by herself. I chastise her every time she wanders off from me on shopping trips; when she opens the front door when I'm hanging the clothes on the line out the back yard, or when she goes out to the front garden without my knowing. Like many mums I did this for ages without giving her a real reason why I was cross. I was reluctant to put into her little head the idea that someone may take her, for fear of terrifying her about the world we live in and the capacity for some adults to do her harm.
The world we are raising our kids in now, while still beautiful in most respects, is filled with new dangers that none of our parent's had to concern themselves with. Just where do we learn what warning's are appropriate for young minds, without affecting the intrinsic inner beauty of children who love all without judgement?
Here in Australia we've been fairly lucky compared to statistics from overseas of children being abducted. Of course the parent's of 11 year old Daniel Morcombe who disappeared in Queensland a couple of years ago, would be forgiven for not agreeing. Still today, they are madly searching for any information about how their beautiful young son could simply vanish while waiting for a bus. Frankly I don't know how they have survived it.
Just how do we raise a child who is polite and friendly, while at the same time teach them that they're not to befriend or talk to any adult when we're not next to them? How do we effectively inform them about how to handle the unlikely scenario that someone may try to take them, but at the same time not terrify them about the world and the people in it? If we want them to grow up to always see the good in people, how do we temper this with coaching them that even pleasant looking people are capable of mean things? What about fostering their independence, when our heart lurches every time we lose sight of them at the busy local pool. Like any mother I have a passionate desire to keep my child safe in this world, but I'm also determined to ensure she is able to enjoy life freely, like all children should.
The last decade has brought with it a new strain of human sexual desire, fed constantly no doubt by the ease of private access to all things perverted over the internet. Ten short years ago a certain amount of conserted effort would have been required to gain access to images designed to satiate the desires of sick individuals. Clearly that percentage has multiplied to unknown proportions, now that the ease of access has been increased for more and more people. Just what is the flow down effect of this in terms of people feeling a need to act out their sexual fantasies? Only the next couple of decades will tell.
The sad reality is that the modern world has degenerated in its pursuit of personal sexual freedom and exploration, at the expense of those who are too young to defend themselves against it. Some may say that too much concern from parents about their children's personal safety is overkill and unnecessary, based on the statistics of the number of children abducted by strangers today. But this attitude to me is the same as those who think people are ridiculous for being fearful of flying, or swimming in the ocean. Yes the likelihood is remote that harm will come our way, but as a parent, that element of remoteness is enough to keep me ever vigilant where the safety of my child is concerned.
Jo-Anne Roland is the director of AmberWatch Australia [http://amberwatchaustralia.com/], the Australian distributor of the AmberWatch. Recently featured on CNN's Youth Trend Report and currently taking the child protection world by storm, the AmberWatch is being heralded as a 'first of it's kind' child prevention/protection product. For information on the US parent company please visit [http://www.amberwatchfoundation.com/].
Jeffery Leving has spent more than a decade in the trenches of domestic law. From that perspective, he gives men embroiled in custody disputes a powerful and impassioned voice in Fathers Rights. Arguing that men are disenfranchised and stigmatized by a biased legal system, Leving promises help through such difficulties as finding empathetic attorneys, avoiding unhealthy custody arrangements, protecting the child-parent relationship, and remaining financially solvent. Included is advice on how to demonstrate parental competence when falsely accused of abuse.