Hey Beautiful!
I? wanted to write this email so that both you and your twin sister and? anybody else in your family who is aware of the situation knows that I? understand your twin sister, but I am not the least bit sympathetic. She? deserves every bit of misery she has ever experienced and deserves? every bit more headed in her direction.
First off, let me start? by saying were not for the contributions of Mr. Goldfish, her childhood? pet who met such an untimely demise, figuring out this puzzle would not? be possible. Wherever you are Mr. Goldfish, we thank you for your? assistance in this matter and are sorry for the pain and anguish you? suffered after being forced to leave the pet store that was your home as? my wife's twin sister's pet. It was your curse to be her pet Mr.? Goldfish, but you bore it well, up through the bitter end. You are, er? were a model of courage that other goldfish can only aspire to. You will? always be remembered as being a helper, a knowledge-bringer and a? savior (of sorts). Rest easy, Mr. Goldfish. The troubling details? surrounding your death have finally come to light and justice is at? hand. ??
Your? twin sister told me that she took a bite out of Mr. Goldfish before? flushing him outside CT2, because she was a kid and kids do stupid shit? sometimes (does she like sushi?) I decided to ignore it because I've? heard far worse. But in retrospect, your sister had A LOT of anger, even? back when she was a kid, and poor Mr. Goldfish paid the ultimate price.?
When I was talking to Ashland Colin back in '95 (the dad of? both of you), he introduced you as his daughter, but refused to? acknowledge your twin sister as anything but a relative- he didn't even? want to label her as a niece (and understandably so). When I asked him? why, he said it was because she's a whore. When I asked how he could be? so sure at such an early age, he said the easiest way to illustrate it? was the tale of Mr. Goldfish, which he proceeded to share over a few? cigarettes. I've filled in some of the details with the information I've? gathered myself from being around your twin sister and from a few other? sources, but here's the gist of it (and why the vast majority of whores? who can change bit don't are excuses wrapped in other excuses wrapped? in yet other excuses- a sentiment I share with your dad who verbalized? it the same way back in '95.
The gist of it was that Mr.? Goldfish died because you twin sister refused to read the book that was? given to her regarding the care of Mr. Goldfish- I think I had the same? one when I had goldfish (mine did better). Did you guys buy the fish and? the book from Animal World in Skokie or Morton Grove? Damn. That means? that Mr. Goldfish might have been a relative of some of my goldfish-? which makes me even angrier at the fate he suffered. Now it's a duty to? bring this bitch's crimes to light.
My biggest question after? hearing about the ugly circumstances surrounding the death of Mr.? Goldfish was why wouldn't she read the book?
Your dad shared the? answers in the same way he learned them, to show me why he came up with? the whole "a whore is an excuse wrapped in another excuse wrapped in? another excuse" definition.
Her first excuse was some kind of? non-conformist bullshit that caused her to say that not reading the book? was a way to "fight the power," which was her first excuse to fail but? bought her some respect from certain like-minded individuals who? probably regret supporting her stance on Mr. Goldfish.
Ashland? Colin's final statement was that she won't do anything that is good for? her- even if she knows it. He couldn't reveal more without going into? details that are unseemly over a smoke on the porch on a nice afternoon? in Ashland, VA. But now I have the rest of the pieces of the puzzle.
Another? example Ashland Colin used to illustrate his point about your twin? sister was the incident where she coked something awful and everybody? hated it so much that they were mean to her and told her to not even try? in the future- which served as another excuse in the many layers of? excuses she was building for herself.
Why all these different layers of bullshit?
Because,
Another? layer of bullshit (but one of the first designed to make people feel? sorry for her): Your twin sister claimed to be "afraid to try" - she? claims that she would rather not try and fail because of the "hurtful? people out there" who judge her and prefers to not try and fail by? default so that when people hear about it, they just shake their heads? and leave her alone not thinking she's worth the effort- she ain't, but? it's a good thing a few people were paying attention for the sakes of? her victims (much, much worse than Mr. Goldfish- she began doing the? same things that she did to Mr. Goldfish to other human beings). This? was Ashland Colin's worst nightmare- he predicted that she would grow up? to be a serial killer or some other form of degenerate (actually she's a? few kinds of degenerate rolled into one) but made sure to tell me that? he would pray for her and hope she righted her course in life before? something terrible happened- but doubted that his prayers would be? answered. When I asked him why he wasn't trying to explain things to? your twin sister because he had survived his ordeal with meth, had? served in the military and earned an honorable discharge, and was now a? college student at a good school, maybe he had more credibility than? before and would listen now. He said he had tried, but she didn't want? to listen- she just wanted to be a whore and so he would do all he could? do- pray for her and keep his fingers crossed whle hoping for the best,? but he didn't want her anywhere near him.
Now, considering how? low her life was in Denver, that excuse doesn't make much sense- when? you work at a strip club and have sex and eat the shit from a public? toilet at the strip club in exchange for a $20 bag of bad cocaine and? everybody knows about it because it happened in public in the general? view of the other employees and patrons of the club, EVERYBODY AND THEIR? MAMA knows that said individual IS NOT WORRIED ABOUT people judging? because she tried and failed. That stage of life (if it ever existed for? her) was left behind a long, long, LONG time ago.
So, we can? establish that even though she's miserable, she doesn't want to try? because she prefers when everybody around her does things for her that? she should handle- which alienates people, and causes them to leave her? alone- which is what she wants- it helps cover up her crimes and makes? things easier if everybody chalks up her uselessness to being a stripper? and stops paying her attention- a trick she picked up from her mother.
Yet? another layer of your twin sister's bullshit designed to cause people? to leave her alone: She decided that she just wouldn't do what she's? supposed to do, because she doesn't want to put in the effort, meaning? she's lazy. She's aware of and knows about the problems with her life,? but refuses to put the effort in to fix them anyway, AND she tells? people that she hates herself because of it- giving the people of the? general public yet another reason to ignore her, which makes it easier? for her to be a pedophile serial killer who eats her victim's flesh-? similar to Jeffrey Damer. Her whole life is a cover-up.?
Your? twin sister is well aware that nobody will want to marry her unless she? put in effort into fixing herself, but claims to be so lazy that she? won't do it. She tells people that she's waiting for somebody who will? marry her and still be willing to do everything for her and treat her? like a kid- which explains her closeness to her family (you all put up? with her bullshit even though you don't like it, yet even you all refuse? to do everything for her the same way as when she was two years old).? You either put up with her and ignore her (like yourself and Colin? Olmstead) or are accomplices- like your younger sister. Lots of women? use sex to get what they want- it's somewhat instinctive, even in the? animal kingdom- the behavior is exhibited by many different females of? many different species. But we are humans- best exemplified by the? dialogue between Robin Williams talking to Ben Stiller in the movie? "Night at the Museum" remember when the little monkey stole Stiller's? keys and Stiller started slapping the little critter in the face, only? to have the monkey slap him back? Leading to Robin Williams character (I? think he was playing a wax statue of Ulysses S. Grant) discovering what? was happening, and putting a stop to it by asking Stiller's character:? "Who is evolved? Who is the member of the evolved species of primate?? Who is evolved?- You are evolved- so the responsibility of doing better? is yours." ha ha ha ha ha That's one of the funniest movie scenes I've? ever seen in my life. But the point is is that there is no justification? for this kind of behavior in the animal kingdom ie there's no? justification for acting like a whore who'll fuck anybody so nobody pays? attention to her while she's abducting, torturing, and killing small? children. It makes the whores who do that for real look REAL bad.?
A few other illuminating details regarding your twin sister that people may not understand:
Why? does she enjoy anal sex? Initially, she tried it because it was? available and sex defined her life- with her mother with her youngest? sister, etc. Her Catholic upbringing (the church telling people "don't? do it, it's evil!) only made it more fun for her. She tried it and? probably enjoyed it which is why she kept doing it, which (unto itself)? doesn't make anybody evil- lots of straight hetero couples do the same? without hurting anybody. (P.S. I don't have any fixation on it, don't? hate it or love it and have no motivation to defend it- I understand? your twin, which doesn't help her in the least, but don't want you to? think bad stuff like I'm an anal sex addict or something because of my? opinion).
Hmmm... A (somewhat strong) hypothesis regarding? your twin's behavior: Catholic religion frowns heavily on both anal sex? and homosexual relationships (maybe not anymore, but it did- don't know? what present position of the Vatican is on anal sex). The? molestation/incest she was exposed to as a young child was homosexual in? nature (Zoe admitted to it, not proud of herself but was trying the? best she could and trying to improve- "Jessica suffered a lot" were? Zoe's own words). So, little kid has incestuous & homosexual sex at? home from an early age, then little kid goes to Church on Sundays where? homosexual sex wrong, but she's "doing a well as everybody else" in her? view then. Hears that anal sex also a no-no, but since homosexual sex? hasn't killed her and she's "doing as well as everybody else" back then,? decided to try anal sex with same result. Still too young to understand? that she's actually not doing as well as everybody else b/c she's? "happy" (more or less re: Mr. Goldfish). Has anybody heard that Nirvana? song "Dumb?" We've all felt the same way from time to time, but not like? your reject twin sister.
Grew older, realized that she's NOT? "doing as well as everybody else" & doesn't even have the ability to? fool herself anymore- other people and society made sure of that. Her? illusion (much like Mr. Goldfish) is dead. She's a young bisexual woman? who enjoys anal sex, and is a pedophile who not only enjoys sex with? underage children, but little kids- which caused her mother to throw her? out. She's smart enough to know that the Church was wrong about anal? sex and homosexual relationships (maybe she experienced religious? confusion- might have considered different religion or atheism at this? point- probably atheism- she was aware by now that no God from any? culture accepted her). However she's mad at everybody for killing her? illusion that pedophilia is ok and she's like everybody else. Used to be? able to fool herself that's she's happy back when she didn't have to? make any effort and everybody did things for her, and she wasn't aware? of how society would treat her pedophile sexual preferences (kinda like? how my life was before I figured out what it meant to be brown). When? she got older, she's still miserable, but when people do things for her? it makes her feel good (not happy, but kinda sorta like it) because it? takes her back to her early years when the illusion of happiness was? still working via no effort and everything is getting done and nobody is? judging her for being a pedophile. Unfortunately for her, that illusion? of happiness is the best she ever could do- she never was truly happy? and she never can be. Truth: She's so miserable b/c of reality that when? she releases the links to her childhood and the illusion of happiness? it provided, she is unable to cope with her distress and ends up trying? to recreate childhood illusion the best she can- by getting others to do? the things she should do for herself and by having sex with small? children). This psychology led to whore behavior and the whore label for? her. Working as a stripper didn't help- it just provided more reasons? to label her as a whore. Her looks made it worse, because that allowed? her to meet individuals who did things for her that she should be doing? for herself in exchange for sex, which was her cover so people didn't? know she is a pedophile. Even though her intelligence is questionable? (she only got through the tenth grade and reads at the third grade level? because the kids she takes advantage of and subsequently kills are very? small children who understand even less), she wants people to think? that she knows the people she ends up with are no good, but has decided? that she is willing to be with them in exchange for them helping her? recapture the childhood illusion via everybody does everything for her =? roots of her whore behavior. Tragic part of her story: she couldn't? overcome the distress caused by putting in some honest effort to save? her own life, is her own responsibility b/c she's simply too weak. When? the truth is that she's just a pedophile who abducts children from the? toy store (I guess the younger they are the better she likes them, as in? the case of her friend Whitney's kid who was still in diapers) and? molests and kills them, which is why she makes sure that people know? she's a dumb shit coke whore- so that they don't bother looking any? deeper.
Her brain's self-defense mechanism that prevents her from? ever truly enjoying her sick, perverted life (due in large part to the? teachings of the Catholic Church): Even though she's a perverted? individual with no sense of morals, somewhere deep inside her brain, she? knows that pedophilia and having sex with kids and torture and murder? are wrong, and that tiny part of her brain keeps fighting desperately to? prevent her from falling into her illusions and losing herself? completely in pedophilia and murder and torture and eating small? children- all human brains have this "wiring" in order to prevent? dementia and insanity (or further damage of insane {not in a legal? sense} acts) that falling into her illusion would cause. She? works/worked as a stripper so many different individuals find her? attractive (ugh), otherwise that job would be impossible to have-? leading to "relationships" and sexual encounters with a variety of? individuals who are willing to do some of the things she should do for? herself and help her hold onto her childhood illusion in exchange for? sex- which explains her many sexual partners. One person might do one? thing or (at most) a few things for her in exchange for a sexual? encounter (like buy dinner and take her to a movie) or two. A? "relationship" (to her) just means that this person will continue to do? the the few things she should be doing for herself in exchange for? repeated sexual encounters. Now, if she needs everything she should be? doing for herself to be done by others, and most people only do a few? things, then she needs to be with more people so that she can get more? of the things she should be doing for herself done for her and grab as? much of her childhood illusion of happiness as possible. Now we know why? she has so many sexual partners- which is all a cover so that people? don't pay attention to her because they think she's a coke whore who? fucks everybody while she's busy covering up the truth about being a? pedophile who abducts and murders small children- which is what she's? been doing for years, which is why she doesn't qualify for the insanity? defense- because she knows everything she's doing is wrong (evidenced by? the cover-up). If she knows what she's doing is wrong and proves it by? trying to cover it up, she ain't insane in a legal sense- which might? ruin her day, but cheers and brightens mine :-)
Your twin sister? had so many sexual partners thanks to her appearance and finds grabbing? onto her childhood illusion of happiness is possible- but can't escape? the fact that it was all an illusion back then AND now- which she? became? aware of when eating a little of Mr. Goldfish before throwing? him away- something that causes her pain and forces her to realize that? she is desperately unhappy, was desperately unhappy even when "things? were great," and can't force society to accept pedophilia as a lifestyle? that should be as accepted as being a homosexual or bisexual on the? basis of her physical appearance. Doing things that she finds? disgusting, like eating some of Mr. Goldfish and later, eating feces? (bathroom sex) is a mechanism of her brain (it's part of the? hard-wiring, she can't get rid of it) "protecting her" and telling her? to not fall into the illusion that her life is ok and to expend the? effort to fix her life. What happens when a person puts their hand into a? hot open flame? They get burned and they remove their hand so that the? pain goes away, and in the future, don't put their hands into open? flames to avoid the pain it caused the first time. This is EXACTLY what? your sister was trying to do, but on a psychological level- she felt so? helpless since childhood because she's always felt unable to fix the? problems in her life. Unfortunately, she found a different illusion that? served as her excuse to not improve- that she's helpless, which pissed? people off almost as much and made people think she's that much more? useless, because if people got through this new and improved layer of? bullshit they wouldn't bother to get past the other ones because she's? just a coke whore stripper who doesn't matter- leaving her free to? molest and murder small children from toy stores nationwide (if it? sounds funny, it's not meant to). She's a stripper, she reads at a 3rd? grade level, she has no bank account, she has no car, etc the list goes? on and on (which are choices she made to feed her illusion/cover of? helplessness- which she ain't, which helps feed her illusion/cover of? childhood happiness which helps her avoid detection). It's like the? layers on a (rotten) onion. Her brain KNOWS that her life is fucked up? and is aware of her illusions/covers and is also aware of her choice to? not try because it makes her so miserable to let go of that illusion of? being happy being a pedophile in secret and to have to understand that? her physical appearance IS NOT NEARLY enough to make people accept her? choice to have sex with very small children. So, her brain (or some part? of it) is as alarmed by her condition as the rest of the people who? know her are and (unfortunately) KNOWS that she ISN'T helpless no matter? how she feeds her illusions/covers. So, in an effort to "right the? ship" and get things headed in the right direction, her brain directs? her to engage in acts that she finds repulsive- like eating feces which? (that little part of her brain hopes) will cause her enough pain so that? she breaks free of using her illusions to justify herself and fixes? everything- much like the person who pulls their hand out of the fire in? order to stop the pain. Unfortunately, the human brain is also? hard-wired to adapt to the various stresses placed on it, and since? eating feces and bathroom sex didn't cause enough pain to make her? destroy that "helpless" illusion and get her to get things going in the? right direction, her brain went a few steps further trying to do the? same thing- which phases in eating people and being like Hannibal? Lechter. The human brain is truly amazing (in both a positive and a? negative light). All the crap she did was because she wanted to force? herself to get her shit together. But the part of her brain that adapts? combined with the part that is unable to let go of her illusions and? justifications that she created as a kid beat the part that did stuff? like eat feces trying to get her to wake the fuck up. I'm not sure what? made her decide to stop stripping and try to get her life "together" in? LA, She must have realized that we were close to getting married and? decided to take off and run in order to evade capture and if she could? get away with it, ruin our life together- which is where the suicide? pacts with so many people come from. Damn, she REALLY IS stupidest? retard ever born. And she thought she could get away with all of it-? including trying to kill me because of the way people stereotype? strippers. The BIG mistake that your twin sister and accomplices made? was trying to mess with me- that was what killed them (because you love? me so much). And the stuff she's done will piss people off so much that? she knew that when I bring the heat, she'll just have no choice but to? kill herself because of all the crappy things she tried to do to me? (make me look like a pedophile, look like a racist, trap you into? leaving me homeless, attempting to murder me, etc) combined with the? crap she already did to cover up her crimes. Getting her life together? in prison won't work because she doesn't want to get better, because she? thinks she's justified in doing what she does even though she knows? having sex with little kids is wrong. So she fucked her life up so bad? because when she got caught (ain't no "if" like she was thinking, never? was- dumb shit? pedophile cunt is arrogant as all hell) she would have? no trouble overcoming her fear of suicide and hurting herself and would? end her life, thus avoiding the consequences of her actions- yet another? defense mechanism of her brain, coming from the same place that got her? started with eating feces and engaging in bathroom sex. Sigh. Lots of? people need motivation in order to succeed, but this is ridiculous. Why? did everything spin so out of control for her? Because after she decided? that she likes pedophilia and it should be widely accepted by society? (something her mother said she might try to accomplish on the basis of? her looks) somewhere in her head she decided that it was ok to hurt? other people because they don't and never will accept pedophilia as a? sexual orientation like homosexual and bisexual and she was especially? bitter because society not only rejected her dumb shit notions on the? acceptability of pedophilia but rejected your twin sister's physical? appearance at the same time -which ruined her life, and will cause her? enormous pain no matter what happens- suicide or prison, unless she's? allowed to get away with it. Then she'll only get worse because that? will only strengthen the wiring in her brain that has decided that? hurting others in order to "spread the gospel" of pedophilia is ok.? Damn. What a retarded pedophile dumb shit.
Sad but True.
And it all became obvious with Mr. Goldfish's death (hee hee hee hee)
Which? was the first time she expressed her unhappiness- at being a child in a? home where all this was occurring- I don't think being a bisexual woman? bugged her, she probably could have dealt with that, but everything? that happened in her (and your) childhood home (being molested, the? relationship between her parents, going to Church and "realizing" that? "God is wrong" about homosexual relationships and anal sex {God doesn't? care about that, God just wants everybody to be a good person, but she? was too young to figure that out and by the time she did, she was unable? to fix it re: Mr. Goldfish so she fooled herself into thinking it's? great and what she wants and had to use her illusions in order to keep? herself alive} and it all snowballed into this. But it didn't happen to? you. Which leads back to Darwin's most famous conclusion: Survival of? the Fittest.
Sexual orientation wasn't the primary issue- she? was angry about the molestation and wanted it to stop because it was? unfair and it hurt her but she couldn't make it stop and the other stuff? going on wasn't great either- and made her crazy (non-legal definition)? and it all led to the present. Sadly, the cliche "If you can't beat? 'em, join 'em" comes to mind- which explains why she hates you so much.? Her unhappiness at being a molested child combined with the other? negative environmental factors present when she was a child are the root? of all her problems. People may rush to blame Zoe (and the people who? raised her) for all of this. But that isn't the truth. You were subject? to the same parents and grew up in the same household and had the same? negative environmental problems in your life, at the same time, but you? navigated through those problems without causing yourself the damage? that your twin sister did to herself. So a lot of it comes down to the? choices that your twin sister made for herself and regrets making. Did? you ever study a legal case involving a person who grows up in a home? where he/she was molested over the course of many, many years? I have.? There are usually only a few counts of molestation for each person that? was molested (if you ever see a case on the news where the assailant has? 200 counts of molestation against them or something like that, you know? that that sick motherfucker should be executed immediately because they? hurt A LOT of different people- not just the same individuals over and? over again. The more typical situation is where the assailant may have? 5-10 charges of molestation tops, and has a WHOLE BIG BUNCH of statutory? rape charges) and if the victim allows it to continue, the prosecutor? stops throwing molestation charges at the assailant and only charges the? assailant with statutory rape because the law accounts for the fact? that if people really want something to stop (in a domestic setting all? other variables held constant) it will and they'll avoid it or whatever? until help arrives. While the law frowns upon children having sex with? adult members of the household, the law doesn't want to legislate the? freedoms of consenting parties {America is the land of the free after? all ha ha ha}, even if one party is ashamed of giving that consent and? wishes they hadn't later, which is why the molestation charges turn into? statutory rape charges)- we are both living examples (but not the only? ones, not even by a longshot) of the validity of this logic, as is your? twin sister using the same logic in reverse. In your twin sister's case,? crimes were most certainly committed against her (such as being? molested), but she consented to it long enough to where choosing? different became an option she did not want for whatever reason (maybe? she has an unnatural fear of foster homes, who knows?). The realization? that she felt that her situation was the best option for her caused her? to become angry (perhaps she was angry she was bisexual, maybe she was? angry that God didn't strike her down for engaging in homosexual sex and? anal sex, maybe she expected more help from other people, perhaps she? hated the fact that the Church was wrong about anal sex and homosexual? sex, maybe she resented her hypothetical fear and resentment of foster? homes, or maybe she just wasn't willing to miss all those episodes of? The Strawberry Shortcake cartoon after school in order to deal with the? mess, maybe all of the above who knows? Point is, she never picked up a? telephone and called anybody in law enforcement for help- isn't? Olmstead's mother a member of the police force? I understand not calling? a cop, but she refused to call her grand-aunt? ?!!?) but my best guess? is she thought about what was happening in her home and decided that she? couldn't change it and that other people didn't do enough to help her? when she had the same rules that were applied to all of us, and decided? to bullshit herself into thinking that she didn't think any of it was? wrong, and she agreed with all of it- and when she saw how other people? and society viewed her, her mother, and the sexual tastes of others like? them, she resented it because she wanted what happened at home to be as? accepted as any other variation on heterosexual relationships were.? Which is impossible to say the least, because many children would be? taken advantage of (for every one child that knowingly and intelligently? consents to this, there are a hundred thousand children who might put a? stop to it but will have to deal with problems they shouldn't have to? because of child molesters and pedophiles for their entire lives- so the? law is correct the way it is. If your twin sister has no problem with? her "lifestyle", she should live her life and not hurt anybody while? doing whatever the fuck she does- which means that there isn't any? involvement by the legal system nor any reason for them to ever be? involved. But to hate society for condemning actions that hurt the vast? majority of all involved and to resent having to keep it private as a? result of her own personal choice and inability to pick up a phone and? call her grand-aunt is stupid arrogant beyond measure. But to continue? down that road and to only realize what a fool you were by hurting? others and "not being able to stop" (translation: not being willing to? stop) made her hate herself to the point where things got this crazy and? this far out of control- because she knew she was wrong all along and? she's continuing to do wrong and won't stop doing wrong and can't stand? herself and so it resulted in this. The best expression of the misery of? your twin sister's life in popular culture is the experiences of the? main character in Fydor Dostoyevsky's masterpiece Crime and Punishment.? Your twin sister is a female version of Raskilnikov. Damn, that must? suck. But it ain't enough. And it all came to the fore because of that? poor pet fish. Your spirit can finally rest peacefully, Mr. Goldfish.? You did you job well.
Mr. Goldfish, you have been avenged!!
Click? on the link below to submit an ANONYMOUS tip to the Los Angeles Police? Department using your computer RIGHT NOW. The website will accept photos? of suspects.
http://www.tipsoft.com/index.asp?P=WebTips
Click on the link below to submit a tip to the FBI. The tip is NOT anonymous and the FBI website DOES NOT accept photos.
THANK YOU ALL.
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